Washington, D.C., July 4, 2509: The General Services Administration today announced completion of an exact replica of the United States' Capitol building—designed from C-SPAN videos that recorded debate in both houses of Congress in the early years of the 21st century.

The grounds surrounding the Capitol have also been faithfully reproduced. There are bushes, which were beaten around, and a row of haystacks in which members of Congress used to look for needles. The driveway is paved with stones, none of which was unturned, and there are three bandwagons in front of the building upon which they frequently climbed. There are no fewer than seven flagpoles for the running up of ideas.

There are slippery slopes and level playing fields to accommodate whole new ballgames. Directly in back of the building is a lake from which the tips of icebergs protrude, and anchored there is a ship named Titanic, whose deck chairs can be rearranged.